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I wasn't sure which thread I should post this under, because you buy it at the Supermarket, yet on the other hand it is good for your Health too - especially if you believe that laughter is the best medicine !
I was in Foodtown buying among other things , a couple of large bags of Purina dry food for my dog "PaL " as it was "on special" . I was in the line at the check out when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog ........ Duh!!
Feeling a bit impatient and crabby , on impulse I smiled sweetly and told her, " No, I am starting The Purina Diet again Hon. I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in hospital the last time, but that in fact I'd lost a good 50 pounds before I'd awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices , and IV's in both arms. " The woman's eyes just about popped out of her head.
I went on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet, especially if you could take advantage of the weekly specialls to stock up, as I was today.
" Oh my... really ? " the woman who was rather plump, waited for me to continue, so I explained that the way it works, is that you load your pockets , or purse with Purina nuggets, and simply munch on one or two every time you feel hungry. And drink plenty of water. That was it - you don't need anything else , for as the package says that the food is nutritionally complete! I was going to try again, to see if I could shed a few more pounds so I could fit into a special outfit I wanted to wear on Christmas day.
I have to mention here that proctically everyone in the line, and the other line alongside, was by now enthralled with my story, and particularly a tall good looking guy behind her.
Horrified she asked me why I was prepared to put myself at such risk when something in the dog food had poisoned me , and put me hospital the last time .
"Poisoned me? - Oh No - you have it all wrong. I did not end up in hospital because I had been poisoned ," I said, " I ended up in hospital because I had been sitting in the street licking my bum, when a car hit me!"
I thought the tall guy standing behind her was going to have to be carried out the door.
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