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Again I am changing the subject.
Beauty is not something I see in Jordan shoes, so again I am changing the subject so that they are no longer the heading topic on the beauty thread !. Bit petty perhaps, but .. back to real thoughts on women and their beauty. Even so, I am not sure that the topic I am raising is a 'beauty ' topic. It is perhaps a bit more complex but I guess this is as good a place as any to start and I will try and compile my jumbled thoughts orderly and hope that someone can make some sense out of what is going on in my head !.

To be a woman is to have interests and duties, raying out in all directions from the central mother-core, like spokes from the hub of a wheel. Women are sort of expected to be all things to every body - to be open to all points of the compass, husband, children, home, parents, friends, community, and if there were not enough gawd help us - there is that thing called "career" to further stretch modern women to their limits. Many of them are so conscientious about fulfilling what they see as their duties that they completely overlook an important duty that they have , to look after themselves. I have a daughter who is one of those, doing a great job of being pulled and tugged and stretched in all directions. House is clean, kids are well fed, husband has home baking, dogs are walked, sports are attended, schools supported in their fundraising and she busts her gut being all things to her clients at work as well. A high achiever.. everything should be great then, everyone should be happy, and radiant.
But no. Now days when I look at my daughter who is in her mid 40's , to myself I ask, " What the hell has happened to my lovely girl that she once was ? " I feel so sad, because I no longer see any of that natural radience and exuberance for life she once had, shining from her. Instead of seeing a once very pretty girl, who needed very little artificial help to look great, I now see a tired and worn out, harrassed and over - stressed, person, who has allowed herself to become an under-appreciated, taken for granted woman and it makes me feel so mad. I fear it is a trap than many young women fall into. At her age she should be in the prime of her life and having a good time !. She deserves to feel and look good, and be appreciated more by her husband. Kids too... but I know that will come from them later, when they are a little older . I just wish she would for once say 'stuff the lot of you !" and go and do something for herself once a week at least. I know that there is a lot more to beauty than powder and lipstick and hair styles. Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers and are famous preservers of youthful good looks too, but it has been a long time since there has been any sign of either of those around my daughter either. I can't help but wonder, just WHAT is the point !!!
Ladies, don't you agree with me that our first duty should be to ourselves. That in order to achieve all these other things successfully, we need to be able to feel good about ourselves and how we look , and feel, and are appreciated?
I admire my daughter very much as a really capable woman, but I see that while she is achieving in so many areas, she is also failing herself dreadfully, and I really do not know how best I can help her.

Yea, to achieve the balance. Whilst one would move mountains to keep an appointment with the boss, friend, colleague, business associate etc. it is so difficult for a person to make (and keep!) a date with yourself. Today I see the value of this and I will sometimes make an appointment with and for myself - keep it and enjoy it! I have been quite stressed out recently with merging my business with a big international one. After almost cracking I finally phoned the spa, arranged for a massage and spa pool time and it did me wonders. Why did it take me so long?

Kate I have the same worries or concerns for my niece who is in her second marriage (happy this time). There are two new children to this union, they are now 9 and 11. My niece is 46. They have another five children between them three of whom are adults. Hubby is a primary school principal - my niece owns and runs a franchise cheesecake shop!!! She doesn't stop all day!!! Has to get up at 5 to bake, race home to get the kids off to school, get back to shop to bake some more or decorate and order to whatever else they do. The older kids still at home take turns to cook dinner but often need transport to training. Even when the family were all in Samoa for a full week, she never relaxed, (but she said she was) but they were out everyday making sure the kids had plenty to see and do. I'm sure they would have been just fine in the hotel pool or beach close by.

Its so easy for me to see from a distance what is happening but she needs to come to realisation herself that it doesn't have to be like this. But I do worry but send her lots of love through texts and emails because she's never free to talk!!!

It is so hard to be sitting on the side line looking on Ellieann. Oh.. to be able to achieve that balance , and be able to make a date with oneself, and keep to it on a regular basis, as Liz has suggested above. I am sure that it would help, remove some of the stress lines if only there was some quality
"me " time to look forward to each week. I don't know. I suppose I was much the same when my kids were young ... busy , busy, and with a husband that was also away on business such a lot , and also having to do regular business entertaining as well. . However, at least when he was at home, he was only too happy to share the chores, and to spend time with his kids. He certainly never ever complain if I had not had time to make a pudding that night. Mind you, I think he probably knew that if he had complained, I would have chucked a can of peaches at him, and aimed it to hit . I was more feisty than my daughter is. Nah... I only recall throwing some thing at him once - a pound of butter it was, on a hot summers day. It was soft, he ducked and it splattered all over the kitchen. He turned on his heel, and said, "I'll come back when you have had time to clean that up !" I learnt a lesson from that, and didn't really throw things after that, but, I most would certainly have told him to make his own damn pudding- and he would have done too. Not so my S.I.L . He would just sulk and carry on, and make my daughter feel bad about being an inferior wife.
It is good that your niece's marriage is a happy one Ellieann. They will some how manage to work things out between them, and though busy as she can be, if she at least has a partner who shows appreciation and whom she is happy with, she will not feel so dragged down.
Sadly, I know my daughter's marriage is not happy.

I had my family quite young, and was a SAHM while they were growing up. I have the greatest admiration for anyone who can juggle both little kids, their homes and a career. I find it hard enough now that mine are pretty much independent now. Having never had a good job even when I was young, I became an adult student while mine were at College, and my youngest and I studied together and kept each other motivated. It was a good move. I was lucky enough to get employment for 4 days a week. It would have been nice to have the money I earn now, before, but I have no regrets about doing it the way that we have done it. It is great to be able to get my hair professionally done when I want to, and to wear something other than sweats and trackies. I tell you, I am so grateful to have that day off too. Four days is enough to spend at work. I still need that time to cope with all the household chores, and there is only two of us living at home now. Like I said, I take my hat off to those of you who have families , households and businesses to run all at once . You need to be super women to do both jobs properly.

I am laughing at KKKaty, & her throwing the butter in anger.

I did a similar thing once, ...really angry at the way the children were acting, (3kids in 3 & a half years,) but I reached breaking point, just as DH came in from work.

I had picked up a small log of wood, (winter time), & threw it across the room at nothing in particular, but it gouged out a scar on the kitchen lino, never to be the same again!

Taught me never to throw anything again, I tell you! We needed new lino. Felt good though.