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My Hubby sent me this in an email, think he's trying to tell me something??

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We

need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

A goodie! Actually I could do with some help and instruction when frying eggs. Although I consider myself a realy good cook and (hem! hem! modesty creeping in here) some say I am a superb cook, yet still the art of frying the humble egg escapes me. I turn out - burnt, broken, splayed, half-raw, misshapen apologies of what they should be. Oh, well, can't be an expert at everything.

Here's another giggle - an oldie, but another goodie.

The old fellow was bemoaning the fact that his son, who used to dig the garden for him and help plant his potatoes, was in jail and not available for the job. So he got him on the phone and asked if he would be allowed out for a couple of days to do the job.

"Don't think so, Dad," his son replied. "They don't tend to let you out when you're in here for murder. Even when there's no body."

The next day a troup of policmen arrived and started digging up the back yard. They dug and dug and soon the garden was nicely turned over ready for the spuds.

Son phoned his Dad. "I did the best I could for you," he said. "I told them that's where I buried the body. Hope that was of use to you."

Hahaha! Cripes what a good idea for getting the garden dug Faye. Not keen on the thought of a body in the middle of my flower bed, but you have given me an idea... perhaps I could start a rumour somehow that the proceeds of a bank robbery are buried there...
Now someone tell us really how to fry good eggs... i am like you Faye.. good cook, but still have trouble frying eggs In fact I never do when I have guests, too risky ! It is either scrambled in the microwave, or scrambled in the microwave or poached in the microwave... in a special microwave poaching thingy... otherwise they can be a disaster also. Nothing worse than trying to get a poached egg out and onto the toast only to have it 'splosh " and burst all over the plate. Might have another 'egg' on the menu soon though. Heard of a novel way of making a sort of an omelette the other day. Specially good if there are a few omelettes needed and you want to all sit down to brekky together. What you do is this... grate some cheese , chop some onion , capsicum, mushroom , tomatoe, ham , parsley, or whatever you all like to have in your omellette. Line up all these little bowls of what I will call 'fixings" Put a large saucepan of water on to boil Give all your guests a zip lock plastic lunch bag, and a different coloured spring clothes peg. Give them an egg each to break into their plastic bag where they will squeeze and squish it until the egg is all broken and squidgy. Then they go and take a little of whatever they fancy from the bowls of 'fixings' that you have prepared beforehand. They seal the bag, shake it about a bit to mix and then lower it into the boiling water with the clothes peg to hold it on to the upper rim of the saucepan and also to identify their personally chosen brekky. meanwhile you will have had a big tray of bacon under the griller and toast popping up all over the place and everyone will be relaxed and having fun and only themselves to blame if they don't like their breakfast! It does work apparently...I had that on good authority, as apparently it was demonstrated impressively at a Country Womens Institute meeting somewhere down near Roseyone's neck of the woods, recently. Apparently you just flip them out of the bag, and hey ... majic! You do have to have the right bags though.. some just disintegrate that I do know... no shortcuts with the bags, ladies those microwave ones don't work that part I do know, and I gave up on fishing the contents out of the bottom of saucepan with a slotted spoon. Those CWI are real smart... but they didn't tell me about having the right bag!! Anyone here done this or heard of this before ?

Sandy-K - I have not talked too much about my reasons for returning home but your little joke got it in one!

My husband is like that 24/7!!!

I'm with you other good cooks when it comes to frying eggs, but I have learned a coupla tricks. I always break the egg into a cup and slide it from that into the pan. It's best not to have the pan too hot - if you've fried the bacon first, let the pan cool a bit before adding the eggs. Once they're in, turn the heat down really low and put a lid on the pan - this will help cook the yolks without burning the whites. Have a peep every now and again and you'll see the yolks changing colour as they cook - get them out of that pan as soon as the surface of the yolks is firm - that way, they'll still be runny on the inside.

Now, who can tell me how to consistently produce the perfect soft boiled egg?

No Katy never heard about the plastic bag trick, might try it out at my new home when I move at Easter.

Jode, this is how the nuns taught me how to do soft boiled eggs:

make sure the water is boiling as you gently plop the (room temperature) eggs into the pot and leave in the boiling water for three minutes then take the eggs out immediately.

This isn't eggsactly how I do it. Another way is to put the eggs into cold water and bring to the boil. Then remove from the heat, cover and let stand for three minutes. Saves the shells cracking when they hit the boiling water.
As for poaching, I can't go passed my cheap aluminium egg poacher which turns out beautiful neat, professional eggs every time, four at a time.

Chookie should have some hints for egg cooking, or is this subject a bit close to her heart.

Anyone had the experience of microwaving eggs in the shell?

Yep that is what ex did when I bought my lovely new micro..I heard a bang and a sheepish face came around the corner.."Don't you read the instructions" I bawled seeing the exploded mess inside.."no I never do"...well he cleaned it up..and read the instructions on how to cook an egg or two..in a microwave..Darn near killed it he did !! :twisted: hock: