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A sad day for me. We all have them, and will continue to have them, until there are no more days left. The longer we live, the more old friends we will loose. I just got a call from the husband of an old and dear friend. The minute I heard Ed's voice I knew it would not be good news. Who's husband ever calls? Maureen is in the hospital. In intensive care. She's heavily sedated. On a ventilator. My heart sank. Maureen has lung cancer. The silence was deafening. His voice cracked. The kids are all here. I just wanted you to know.
I told Ed that if he felt there was anything I could do to help her or him, to let me know. I just hate to go over to the hospital. If she's in intensive care, that will be the last time I see her, and I don't want that to be my last memory. The last time I saw her was a couple of months ago. She and I chattered away over lunch about how our kids were doing, and who was up to what, exchanging recent photos. She has four kids, two boys and two girls. I have four kids, one boy and three girls. She has 8 grands, I have 6. Our kids were all intertwined in age. They all went to the same high school together. We've had a million laughs together a million memories. I know if I walked into that hospital right now, and saw the faces of those kids, I would break into a million pieces and so would they. It's a sad day.

Am sending you hugs, Jillie.
Yes, these farewells are such a feature of our older years but never ever get any easier.

With understanding for your pain I send my hugs too Jill. Take care.

Warmest wishes from me too Jillie we never do know do we what will happen the next day.
I hope your dear friend has a peaceful passing.

Jillie I saw your post this morning before I went to work, and I just did not know what to say to you then. I have been thinking about this ever since . I understand what you are feeling , and what you are saying. I felt very much the same recently over my friend Rose whom I wrote about on another thread on here myself. She, is living on borrowed time now too. About a week it was said , 10 days ago. She, like your friend will let go soon , and I pray, pass peacefully when they themselves are ready to. Perhaps , when they have seen, and been able to say goodbye just one more time, those whom they hold dearest.
Death and dying has always been a part of the human experience, and sometimes I think that it can be more difficult to watch someone we love suffer, than it is to endure the same pain ourselves. It is always difficult to say any goodbye to a loved one. Life's final journey is the most difficult because we know, and they know , that there is no return ticket. We cannot call out, " See you at Easter!"
When my DH was dying I grimly witnessed the reactions of the stream of visitors to his bedside during those last days. His relatives, my relatives, our dear friends, our employees. They each had a common but seldom asked question that weighed heavily on their minds.
"What do I say to a dying person ? What do I say to the devastated loved ones he is leaving behind ? It worried those who came a lot, and I know it worried many more of them who did not come to the house before he passed, but who could only come afterwards, to the funeral . "We really, really wanted to come and say goodbye, but we just could not face up to it. We did not know what to say. " I heard that so many times Jillie. It was easier for them to come and bow their heads before a closed casket in which they would have seen only the reflection of their own faces.
And yet, no words were needed really. He would have known that they came to say goodbye. He would have known that soundlessly they were saying, " we care, and will miss you. We appreciated your life and knowing you, and we love you!" And they would have been able to see reflected in his eyes, just how much their brief presence and their momentary brief touch, meant to him, and contributed to his peaceful passing. They would have remembered that afterwards, and been glad.
[quote]I know that if I walked into that hospital right now, and saw the faces of those kids, I would break into a million pieces and so would they .........,

Jillie.... Tears can be so healing ... a good cry together is a wonderful release... never bottle up a good heartfelt weep.
Hugs to you and yours Jillie. Obviously, your whole family is closely entertwined at this sad, time and all will be experiencing this loss. .

Jilly, Going through the loss of a Loved one less than a month ago is still quite fresh in my mind. I know the feeling and seen it on the faces of all those that knew him.... As you said, what to say.... There is nothing anyone can say to ease what you and the family is feeling right now. All anyone can do is go through the motions of being alive and be there for the kids and families. Just so your friends children know your there for them and I hope you will go before the finally breath..They will appreciate it all the more and your friend will know your there for her Children. Your in my Prayers... LOL.

With the passing of each friend, who shared so much of our lives, we feel a little of ourselves going with them.

Our societies today distance death from life.

In earlier times it was a natural part of life's ebb and flow.

From childhood it was ever present in our homes, with the loss of siblings to the many infectious diseases.
We saw it in neighbour's houses with the passing of Grandparents.

We did not farm out our dead to strangers, but tended them ourselves.

I feel that we have lost something quite precious to life's wholeness, when we are excluded from that last natural act.
There can be a deep sense of rightness at the end with a life long friend.

Hugs to you Jille, perhaps a lesson for all of us to let our closest know what we would like as we move towards the next stage of our cycles. Much to ponder.