|Loving all of me, at last|
|Written by Olga Gonzalez-Ramos|
All my life I was a big girl and yes I have heard every fat joke there is. I am a very loving and caring person and I go to hell and back for my family and friends, except for me. Inside I was torn and hated the way I looked. Now I realize that I was wrong and that if I was so unattractive I would of never found my handsome husband and soul-mate. I truly believe that we are our own worst enemy.
I had tried so many diets only to end them withing 24 hours, year after year and childbirth after childbirth. I never thought I would see the light. But there is that point when we break and do the unthinkable we stick to it! I was at my highest weight 330 pounds. It took me an entire year and 4 months and I went from a size 28/30 to a 18/20. I took it one step at a time and began to cut down on portions and snacks. I would do weekly goals, one week no chocolate and if I accomplished that much I would have a tiny piece and give the rest to someone or throw it away. You just can't stop cold turkey. I went for long walks in the park. After a couple of pounds began coming off I started an affair with the "Mirror". For years I was actually looking forward to those dates of me going shopping and seeing the new me and actually smiling at myself.
Then my husband entered me in the Plus USA model search in Cleveland, Ohio in October 26, 2002. He even took off of work and went with me. I was so nervous and really didn't know if I had what it took. I did not win but the CEO and founder DeLores Pressley loved my portfolio and told me to dream big that I was beautiful! I posted my pictures in the PlusModels directory and crossed my fingers.
In December I saw an ad in the Venusdivas web site about author Chamein Canton looking for pictures of plus size women to appear in her wedding guide publication. The negative voice inside of me was determined to pull me away from this project. I took a deep breath and emailed her my picture. Within minutes she had responded and loved the picture and asked for more. I send more. After several emails and phone calls she had made me her 'Spotlight' model of the wedding guide. I am also doing the publicity tours along side Ms. Canton. I am still in cloud nine.
Chamein Canton is an incredible source of positive energy and bliss. She has taught me that I was beautiful all along and that size didn't add or take away my beauty. With her by my side cheering me on I went for an Open call by BBB Women. They had emailed me inviting me to their Open call which was a compliment because they picked me out from the PlusModels web site. I went and at 31 must of been one of the oldest models there. My hubby went with me again, he has been my biggest support. The staff was so polite and made me feel right at home. I was told that something would come in the mail to let me know if I had made the cut. Two days later I was home with my three little guys watching Spiderman for the 10th time when I got the call back. It was Tonya Jeter, one of the CEO and founder telling me I made it and got the part of House Model. As House Model I will participate in all the runway shows, represent BBB Women and be on their web site and many more perks! I love myself now because I am healthier than I have ever been. I still eat snacks but not with the hunger of suffering and unhappiness that I felt a long time ago. While I am enjoying all the fame and the fans that email me I just want to inspire anyone out there that is lost in that self pity stage. Please take charge of your life now, one step at a time. I waited so long to do something but it's been done at last.
Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.
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