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Birth Order – can it affect your life? Print
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The experts say differently – it all hinges on whether you were the first born, the middle or the baby. It seems your birth order can play a very important part in your development. Much of it depends upon how much attention you receive from your parents and how well you relate with your brothers or sisters.

The first born gets all of the attention and has her parents to herself, that is until the second comes along. After that it is up to her to hold on to what she had before. The second baby will never have her parents to herself, she will always share with the firstborn. The more children that come along, the more they will have to learn to share until the arrival of the last one, the youngest is usually doted upon by everyone.

The birth order can have a very big effect on your life, how well you adapt to and learn from these situations will be your guidelines for dealing with situations the rest of your life.

Psychologists researching the impact of birth order on personality have discovered that firstborns tend to be highly motivated and high achievers. Here is a good example: of the first 23 astronauts sent into outer space, 21 of them were either firstborns or only children.

Firstborns identify more readily with their parents and with power and authority, than later children do. They are usually more assertive, socially dominant and more ambitious. In school, first children generally work harder and do better than the brothers and sisters who follow. They can grow to be more competitive and to have higher career ambitions.

Middle children (whether in the middle of three kids or nine) generally become good mediators and are good at getting on with people. They don't have the superior strength and knowledge of older kids, nor do they receive the extra bit of love and affection that the last siblings in the nest receive. Instead they need to get on with everyone in order to get noticed and to negotiate what they want. They learn about soothing feathers, sorting things out and relating with people. According to the experts, they make very good managers and leaders because of these skills of flexibility and diplomacy that they learn early in life.

The youngest child is often outgoing and good at motivating people. Because they come at the end of the family, they are often confident and affectionate. Because they don't have the same pressure to please their parents that the firstborns had, they may be risk takers. The youngest children may, however, be quite competitive and determined to do as well or better than their older siblings, although they may purposely pursue different fields to avoid direct competition. They're also more likely to question authority.

So does one of the above sound like you? Maybe you have more in common with people who were born at the same birth order than you do with your own family.


Comments (7)add
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written by cancaz , 15 August, 2007
Well I am a middle child god knows what happened to my older brother because he definately dont fit the bill of the experts. he was the plague of my perents life. Did not assert himself and in general just wasted his life away drinking. So I guess I have a lot to be thankful for as I fit the middle bracket just nice.
Liz Cassidy
birth order
written by maggie.whanau , 17 August, 2007
maggie.whanau. 17 August 2007
l am the fourth in our famil but was called the youngest or the baby. Reason the two born after me both died in infancy. Their passing had a profound effect on me as l soon learnt that adults do tend to forget that children have real feelings and need to be comforted also. My father died when l was fourteen months old so the first years of my life were traumatic from a childs point of view consqently l have spent many years of my life doing just that and looking on with interest the different cultural approaches and behaviours displayed when greiving. As adults we can appear very scary and distant to the little ones
and l believe that stepping away from your own sadness to reassure a child or children is vital and birth order in those situations is not important. whist l have read and pondered many theories written on birth order, cultural norms and experiences can also have an impact on order of birth.
Birth Order
written by Dawn , 18 August, 2007
I am the youngest of seven children and in someways I do fit into this bracket. I did find my teenage years difficult as I went to the same schools that my siblings had attended and was constantly being compared by teachers who had taught them. I don't think I learnt to really like myself until my mother whom I loved dearly, passed away and I moved away from my family. I called it growing up at 40.
My sisters (all five of them) are good cooks, great at sewing, in general great at all those lovely home things. I on the other hand hate cooking and can't sew a straight line but I love my job in administration and have done very well at it.
Birth order
written by janann , 24 January, 2008
I am the oldest out of 2 children. There was definitely a lot more responsibility placed on me growing up and a lot more was expected from me. I felt bad for my sister, though, when we were compared with each other by teachers, etc. There was a lot of sibling rivalry growing up and every now and again, it flares up...
Birth Order
written by EquineAddict , 08 February, 2008
Hmmm - I guess you could call me the "baby" of the family and I do fit the profile, as do my two sisters. However the lines are a bit blurred in our case in that the "middle" child and I are twins - born approximately 7 minues apart. Our older sister - the first born - is definitely of the mould even although she is only 17 months older than us. Can you imagine it - a struggling family of the 50's, living in the country, and 3 children under 3 !!! Its was only when I got much older and was making my own way in the world that I began to understand the sacrifices my parents made for us, and that despite the hardships we had a really great childhood and turned out to be fairly decent adults.
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written by playforchrissy , 13 February, 2008
I know one thing for sure: I hate being the oldest child.
Birth Order
written by Pusslil , 10 August, 2008
It was not my Birth order that affected my life... it was my sex! Born into a family where females had no status what so ever, I was the only girl for many years amid 4 brothers, with an Autocratic father who's word was law! My Mother tried so hard to make life easier for me often to her detriment until she died when I was very young. I learned from a very young age that the male of the species was a ruination to a girls hopes and dreams....I learned that I had no rights,no chance of escape...I learned mistrust,hate...all the bad things. It has taken me nearly all my life to let go some of my past, but I could never forgive my father for denying me so much. I am to this day, distrustful of the average male and although I married in time I made sure my girls never let a male run rough shod over them...Birth Order? Not nearly as important compared to proper nuturing.
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