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9 years ago I was diagnosed with MS, 2 weeks after the birth of my one and only child.

Previous to diagnosis I have lived my life to the fullest and acheived most of my goals. My main goal in life was always to become a mother, oh how I love and cherish my daughter and would never change a thing BUT I do have those what if moments where I think gosh if I never had a child maybe I would never of got MS. Apparently child birth can trigger MS. And then I give myself a good swift kick and realise you cannot live life full of "what ifs". I think that stems from loosing my brother to suicide - you almost become obsessed with different what if scenarios! At the end of the day I have come to realise - that was his choice, and stop beating myself up over it.

However a few months back I "hit the wall" with having a major MS relapse, no walking and barely able to talk. The couch beckoned me every day, all day, as I struggled with debilatating fatigue, all I could do is lay there thinking this is one hell of a big black cloud, but it will pass and the sun will shine again. In the meantime my self esteem plummets to lower than low! But not for too long as I put "The Secret" into the dvd and surround myself with positivity. The mental images one conjures up really are very powerful - after watching - I go from a plus size couch potato to superfit supermodel Heidi Klum. lol at least it puts a smile on my dial. I have to constantly remind myself not to live life rip, shit and bust on good days (just because you don't know how long "good days" will last) Good days I describe as feeling normal, feeling like you are living and not just existing! Bad days are soul destroying,like being in a very deep, very dark, black hole.

In a positive light - what a turn around this year was for me as I had to adapt to loosing my job and rely solely on my husbands income. Probably the first time in 17years I have felt more love and respect for my hubby since he is now the sole provider. That's a good thing all round.

Heres where Breast Cancer comes into my story, just last year I lost my sister-n-law, only 41 years old to this deadly disease and having seen the pain and suffering she went through, I vowed and declared that I will do anything I can to raise Breast Cancer Awareness so that others may not suffer the way she did. So what I did was search the net looking for a positive way to help others. Of course bearing in mind that it had to be something that I could do from home as I still have many a couch days and although my passion has always been to help others, I have to help myself first or else I am no use to anyone, and that means pacing myself! (very hard to do as MS is so unpredictable and can hit anytime anywhere and I have to succumb to the couch or bed).

Anyhow,onwards and upwards I like to think and back to telling you how I am making a difference. I came across a Breast Chek Self Examination Kit.  As I also have 4 girlfriends that have had breast cancer, I thought to myself, oh my god thats what I need.  I really have no idea how to check myself - I did have a bit of a grope in the shower but had no clue as to what I was doing. So I emailed and asked if I could purchase a kit. This is where I think my sister-n-law was destined to be my guardian angel - as there was nobody in the south promoting the kits, would I be interested in doing so? I was like hell "YES" and jumped at the opportunity. So here I am now absolutely loving life as I am educating and empowering women to take charge of their health.

We all know Early Detection Saves Lives and I wish to God these kits were around sooner as maybe my sister-n-law would still be here today.

MS has become part of my life but it is not my whole life and I will always strive to dominate it before it dominates me. Having lost a loved one to Breast Cancer I will continue to promote Breast Chek kits and potentially save lives. I am looking for others to help spread this powerful and postive message of "Early Detection Saves Lives". Please let me know if you can help as this is a wonderful and exciting opportunity to be rewarded for your efforts from home and meet new people.

My ultimate goal in life is to save lives and make a difference! Lets do it together now, paint the planet pink!

Gosh I only intended to write a couple of lines and not my life story. (actually thats not my life story as I haven't included being adopted and rejected by birth father who is a x maori all black and a morman! (That's another whole lota story!) Am going to leave you with a quote that I read at my time of diagnosis and loved. Other MSers could well relate to it.

"Life is lived slowly but richly as some people who are able to rush because they can, move fast, miss the beauty of the rose petals."

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